I've been studying Romans over the last few months and today I came to Romans 5:3-5. After spending some time breaking it down and reading it over a few times, I felt this immediate connection to the struggle with addiction that my son and so many others deal with on a day-to-day basis.
For obvious reason, addiction and shame are deeply connected. Together they set up this nasty cycle. You use because you feel bad, then you feel shame for using. The shame causes you to feel bad about yourself so you use to make it feel better. You try to fill the empty space in your soul that was left by pain and shame with something that will bring you more shame.
I am not an addict, but I know shame. I have felt a lot recently as my business has just finished its worst year ever and that has put me and my family in a very difficult situation as it relates to having enough money to live. A new job and the continued development of my business still provide hope, but hope won't pay my bills. As the sole breadwinner for the family I have great shame that I have put my family in this situation. Shame eats at you if you let it.
In Romans 5:3, Paul encourages us to "rejoice in our sufferings" because the pain that is caused by suffering provides us the ability to endure more suffering (also known as "patience"...the Greek word used here is "hypomone"). And that endurance...while rejoicing...will create in you "proven character". Just a quick side note..."proven character" are the words used in the NIV. The KJV uses the word "experience". The Greek word used is actually "dokime" and it is defined as "approved, tried character" or "a proof, a specimen of tried worth". This word brings out the idea that those who suffer, but continue to give thanks to God, come out of that suffering with more character than they did before. In my mind, they are stronger, and likely happier, because of what they were able to live through. This concept is accentuated in James 1:2 where it says, "Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials" because those trials produce patience ("hypomone") and that patience will do work on you to the point that you "may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I would say that's a pretty good reason to endure in my suffering.
But, that's really not the main point I was going to make. You see, going back to Romans 5:5, Paul says that suffering produces patience, patience produces character and character produces THE most important thing you have to find when you are depressed and feeling like there is no way you will get out of the situation you are in...and that is HOPE. Addiction and hope are a pair that don't go well together. Paul reminds us to look for hope in our suffering because it does exist. It is there...and we can find it in our rejoicing. Even more, Paul finishes verse 5 by telling us that "hope does not disappoint us, because God's love and been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit." So often, with both mental illness and addiction, we hear of people feeling "empty". People use their drug of choice to fill the hole caused by their pain and their shame, but Paul reminds us that God's love will pour into our hearts when we rejoice in our suffering. The Greek word used to describe the "pouring" is "ekcheo". I always find it fascinating when I dig deeper into the meaning of words like this. "Ekcheo" is defined not just as "pouring out" but as "gushing out" and "spilling out". It is one thing to think of God pouring a glass of water, it's another thing to think of God spilling a glass of water. I think of it as impossible to control or a purposeful spilling, not frantic, but desperately wanting you to get more water, more than you could possibly need.
We all have holes in ourselves that we are trying to fill...whether it be addiction or shame or pain...Romans 5:3-5 reminds me that the only way to fill those holes is through the love of God "dia Christos" (through Christ) who died for our sins so that we might be "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing". So, REJOICE today in your suffering. REJOICE today in your shame. REJOICE today in your pain. REJOICE and know that God's love is spilling over you today.
